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(no subject)

Aug. 16th, 2013 | 03:55 am

I used to have words. tons. they sput out of me in starts and squirts from a twisted garden hose. they sprayed onto paper, (salty, stressful legal pads in their electric urine yellow and soft, thin moleskines which quickly went from shelf to bra for years on end) they swayed like anchored boats in microsoft office and scraped around on the back of showtime schedules while I sold tickets in a booth. i had so many words in so many colors and pitches- i wore them like jewelry, i cracked them like eggs. i dropped them like seeds figuring everyone loves wildflowers.
now i'm ebbing. i'm praying for rain and sucking dew off long grass. i feel static. pens feel awkward as i try to remember which hand is the right one and even then the pen still feels too thick and heavy like a toddler with a marker- i've been drained of motor skills as well as language. i'm relearning.i am trying.

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(no subject)

Nov. 2nd, 2007 | 03:40 pm

I need a reality check. Do this again?

"Leave me a comment anonymously with a question, thought, concern, anything. It could be to me, or to someone else on livejournal or to someone who doesn't even read/use LJ.. Just try and be honest to your feelings."

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(no subject)

Feb. 25th, 2007 | 01:03 pm

Hmm.
My heart is pure.
I know what you're thinking.
I know what I mean.

Excuse Me?

Nothing.

Why do you want to be on
The Real World?
Because I want everyone to witness my youth.

Why?
Isn't it gorgeous?

So why are you here?

I want you to share my suffering.

You don't seem to be suffering.
I don't?

Why do you want to share your suffering?

By sharing it I will dilute it.

But the information is in the eyes of everyone you meet...
Then there's that much more sympathy coming back at us.

But it'll get old
.
Then I'll move to Namibia.

Hmm.
I am an orphan of America.

What?
Nothing. Someone else said that, years ago.....

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A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

Feb. 24th, 2007 | 11:46 pm


Something needs to happen. Something huge. The taking over of something, a building, a city, a country. We should all be armed and taking over small countries. Or rioting. Or no: an orgy. There should be an orgy.

All these people- we should close the doors and dim the lights and be naked together. We could start with all of us, K.C. and Jessica, go from there. That would make it all worthwhile, that would justify everything. We could move the tables, bring in some couches, matresses, pillows, towels, stuffed animals...

But this- this is obscene. How dare we be standing around, talking about nothing, not running in one huge mass of people, running at something, something huge, knocking it over? Why do we all bother coming out, gathering here in numbers like this, without starting fires, tearing things down? How dare we not lock the doors and replace the white bulbs with red and commence with the massive orgy, the joyous mingling of a thousand arms, legs, breasts?

We are wasting this.

-Dave Eggers.
I'm only half done with this book and I've already doubled the page's ink with my underlining.

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do it. do it.

Jan. 18th, 2007 | 10:57 am
location: not at school, midterms kick ass, i'm not a school!
Singing: colbert

"Leave me a comment anonymously with a question, thought, concern, anything. It could be to me, or to someone else on livejournal or to someone who doesn't even read/use LJ.. Just try and be honest to your feelings."

Do it just like Sasha's. But make sure it is about me.  Make it elegeant and subtle enough that I don't burst into tears or come back with a quick explanation, but make it true, like a quick dagger in my gut. Do several if you want!

p.s. This isnt friends only so that the comments can be anonymous, so if you just come upon this do it too.

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Hey....

Oct. 3rd, 2006 | 10:29 pm
Feeling: cheerfulcheerful
Singing: televsion

Only friends can see this.

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